Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize