i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
