i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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