weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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