she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
You work out of a Hotel?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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