We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
