so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
her facebook's as public as her vagina
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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