I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
