Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
