we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Congratulations! We have a period
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