does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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