my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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