So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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