You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
