i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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