508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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