At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
