Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize