Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
