I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
