I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
