I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
