It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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