Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
