some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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