69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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