she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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