i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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