I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I wish you could order shots online.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
