dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
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