I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
