I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
