I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
