a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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