I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
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