We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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