no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Randomize
