i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
