i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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