I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
