the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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