high people should be assigned attendants
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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