You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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