i permit you to call me
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
