names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
