no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
