Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
