I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
