I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
