Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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