I can't watch pbs sober anymore
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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