It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
