Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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