My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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