I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
