She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
