I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize