Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
