I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
