I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
