Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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