one two three fourrrrnication!
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
whose ass print is on the piano?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
